The Sweeney Girls Rock!

Sometimes its so hard to know when you are making the right decision regarding your children... its so hard to know when that "one more cookie" was pushing it too far -
hard to know when something is considered "spoiling" or just plain "loving" your child.
In this current economy - my husband and I have been hurting, I'm not selling planes, he's not building houses - its just, not the way it used to be. When we had our second daughter Sylvia we freaked out about money - and we weren't even broke yet - we freaked out about finances, and about the girls getting sick - we pulled Natalie from her daycare and took her and Sylvia to an in-home daycare - all was going well, it really was - so we thought - we were distracted by holidays, bad weather, and sickness .... but we just came to realize that so much was being overlooked - the girls were still getting sick - the girls were still costing money - only now ... one girl is 8 months old and is just now starting to sit up, and the other is 2+ and she thinks she is 8. She picked up so many bad habits from the older kids that I was listening to my 2 year old tell me off, tell me what she wanted to do, what she wasn't going to do and to get out of her face, I'm running away, she watched too much t.v. - she needs structure. As for Sylvia , in no way am I blaming a home daycare for my child's inability to sit up - I just cant' help but think that since they see my child 5 more hours a week than I do, that maybe they could spend a little extra time with her - after all, the times that they get to see my girls are the best times - the DAYTIME ! Long story short - my children had become dollar signs not only in my daycare providers eyes but ours as well - I mean, afterall we get what we pay for right? soooo, we pull them and put them back into the more expensive daycare, where I can monitor them with a webcam - where they have structure, where they bring me home artwork - teaching them things - ... now... its too hard to tell now if this is all worth the economic strain this is going to put on our family. We are already about to lose the house - if my re-mod loan doesn't pull through then - us spending more money on this daycare in every way guarantees we will lose the house... but in my mind - we take the hit now while the children are young and still impressionable and mold them into Great Children - not children that grew up in a Great House, with Great clothes .. but children with Great minds -
I just feel the need to vent about this situation - to justify it, if you will -
I am not horrible with money (at least not like I used to be) I am not glutton for punishment, I don't want to lose my first house - I just want to vent and to let it be known... as much as I don't want to lose my first house, I don't want to lose my first children too - I really truly believe that 5 years down the road - all will have fixed itself and me spending a butt load on daycare will be for the good ... right? right? I mean, .... could I find what I am looking for in the larger daycare in a smaller one? hmmm?